Looking in from the Outside

Have you ever been in a life situation where you feel like everyone else has special access and you don’t? That you have to “be someone” in order to enter the world they live in? It is important to ask yourself if you created the distance with your communication style or behavior. Evaluate what you may have done to create the sense of distance. If you cannot find a reason based on your own behavior, then you need to look at other reasons.

Sometimes, as they age, people change. Their health, preferences, and priorities change. The meet someone, and everyone else becomes second rate. They get a new job, and that becomes the most important priority in their life. It doesn’t matter why, but rather how it feels. It causes pain and shame to perceive you are on the “outside.” It doesn’t have to be true-it just feels true.

What can you do about it? Remembering that you can only change YOUR behavior, you can realign your perspective, evaluate what you think you are missing and change your expectations. Sometimes you can reach out to those that seem to be excluding you, but they may not respond. What’s important is taking care of your own soul and headspace, which is all you control. It also helps to evaluate your own behavior. Are you leaving people outside of your world? Is someone hurting over your behavior?


Posted by Susan Odegaard Turner – MentorRN


About Turner Healthcare
As CEO and founder of the consulting firm, Turner Healthcare Associates, Inc. since 1993, Dr. Turner continuously implements the skills gleaned from over thirty five years of experience in the healthcare field. She began her career as a registered nurse in a Critical Care Unit and Emergency Department. She has served in top management roles, including Chief Operating Officer and Vice President, for various hospitals throughout Southern California. Dr. Turner was also appointed the first Statewide Nursing Officer for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Dr. Turner is an Associate Professor for the UCLA Graduate School of Nursing, Moorpark Community College, and has served as the Health Career expert for Monster.com for six years. Currently, Dr. Turner provides career coaching, planning, and advisement. She specializes in helping young adults seeking healthcare careers and individuals in transition, such as older RNs. In addition to her Bachelor's of Science degree in Nursing from Mount St. Mary's College, Los Angeles, she holds a Master's Degree in Nursing from the University of California, Los Angeles, and a Master's of Business Administration from California Lutheran University. She received her Doctorate of Philosophy (Ph.D.) in Business Administration from California Southern University. Her doctoral dissertation discussed the ramifications of clinical re-engineering of nursing services in the 1990’s. Dr. Turner is the author of numerous articles in national healthcare journals as well as the “The Nurse’s Guide to Managed Care,” and “The Nursing Career Planning Guide,” both published by Jones-Bartlett.

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