Looking in from the Outside

Have you ever been in a life situation where you feel like everyone else has special access and you don’t? That you have to “be someone” in order to enter the world they live in? It is important to ask yourself if you created the distance with your communication style or behavior. Evaluate what you may have done to create the sense of distance. If you cannot find a reason based on your own behavior, then you need to look at other reasons.

Sometimes, as they age, people change. Their health, preferences, and priorities change. The meet someone, and everyone else becomes second rate. They get a new job, and that becomes the most important priority in their life. It doesn’t matter why, but rather how it feels. It causes pain and shame to perceive you are on the “outside.” It doesn’t have to be true-it just feels true.

What can you do about it? Remembering that you can only change YOUR behavior, you can realign your perspective, evaluate what you think you are missing and change your expectations. Sometimes you can reach out to those that seem to be excluding you, but they may not respond. What’s important is taking care of your own soul and headspace, which is all you control. It also helps to evaluate your own behavior. Are you leaving people outside of your world? Is someone hurting over your behavior?


Posted by Susan Odegaard Turner – MentorRN