The Parent Report Card

When I was a young mother raising two kids as a single parent, I didn’t have time to worry about whether I was “doing it right”. I worked full time, had two kids in two different schools, sports activities and seeing two different therapists because I was divorcing and both had special needs at that time. I made it through every day hanging by my fingernails!

I look back at that time now and wonder how the hell I made it all work without losing my sanity. Now I have my children as grown adults who routinely don’t agree with me on a variety of topics. I often wonder if they are issuing me a “report card” on my parenting. One of my children ferociously disagrees with most everything I hold dear and important. One has an addiction that comes and goes in life. For the longest time, I thought these things meant I didn’t do something right.

I have to regularly remind myself that because we disagree or they are hurtful, it doesn’t mean I got an “F” as a mother. I can still be true and authentic as myself, and allow them the freedom to live their own lives as THEY see fit, not by my standards. I did my best, and now it is up to them to be who they are. Even though I am an experienced co-dependent (!) I no longer get to control and enable their choices.

All of us can be good parents by taking care of ourselves. Following our own path and dreams is actually role modeling healthy self-care behaviors as a parent. That means we get an “A” for effort and intention every time!

 

Posted by Susan Odegaard Turner – MentorRN

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About Turner Healthcare
As CEO and founder of the consulting firm, Turner Healthcare Associates, Inc. since 1993, Dr. Turner continuously implements the skills gleaned from over thirty five years of experience in the healthcare field. She began her career as a registered nurse in a Critical Care Unit and Emergency Department. She has served in top management roles, including Chief Operating Officer and Vice President, for various hospitals throughout Southern California. Dr. Turner was also appointed the first Statewide Nursing Officer for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Dr. Turner is an Associate Professor for the UCLA Graduate School of Nursing, Moorpark Community College, and has served as the Health Career expert for Monster.com for six years. Currently, Dr. Turner provides career coaching, planning, and advisement. She specializes in helping young adults seeking healthcare careers and individuals in transition, such as older RNs. In addition to her Bachelor's of Science degree in Nursing from Mount St. Mary's College, Los Angeles, she holds a Master's Degree in Nursing from the University of California, Los Angeles, and a Master's of Business Administration from California Lutheran University. She received her Doctorate of Philosophy (Ph.D.) in Business Administration from California Southern University. Her doctoral dissertation discussed the ramifications of clinical re-engineering of nursing services in the 1990’s. Dr. Turner is the author of numerous articles in national healthcare journals as well as the “The Nurse’s Guide to Managed Care,” and “The Nursing Career Planning Guide,” both published by Jones-Bartlett.

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